Change agent

Project Kinect just held our first annual Social Change Forum. The goal was to bring community members of Madison together and discuss how we could use our privilege to become more inclusive. About 30 participants joined us and we discussed a wide range of topics from the definition of terms like inclusion and ally to being a real advocate and what those actions looks like. At the end of the day we felt empowered and ready to charge forward.

There was a piece of the conversation that, because of limited time, was not touched upon. With more time, and with future events, I would like to hear more about conversations about when stereotypes and privilege are mixed. Status quo embeds our subconscious with what is and what is not normal. Symbols of what our society deemed as normal, two happily married parents of opposite sex with two children, house and a dog, are actually no longer considered normal. Now, a divorced family whose parents re-marry, one is homosexual, children are adopted, and they have a guinea pig as a pet is considered a more form of normal. The fact is, normal has no category anymore because we are all normal. Our diversities are so eclectic that one assumption of what is normal can not exist. Unfortunately our sub-consciousness has not been able to catch up with reality. That is why I support the #IMNormal campaign so much.

#IMNormal is a campaign to share and illuminate how there is no definition to what normal is. Despite what society says is normal, we are all different and in those differences, we are normal. Our governments, media outlets, art, fashion, and cultural norms may dictate what is normal, but it is our individual stories that truly make us normal.

Norm:al Africa is initiating the #IMNormal campaign for two reasons:

1) The campaign wants to bring awareness of LGBTI issues throughout the globe by displaying how we are all normal and deserve the same human rights.

2) The campaign is to assist Norm:al Africa in aligning their startup efforts in Uganda. Norm:al Africa is the newest organization to fight for the rights of the LGBTI community in East Africa.

#IMNormal because I am a strong independent gay man who understands my past and privilege does not define me, but can be used to advocate and empower others.

Many studies would have us believe that empathy needs to be taught. I believe the contrary. I feel we are given the power of empathy in early development. It is in our DNA to care and feel what other people are feeling. Empathy often empowers us to react for the good. I see it in my nephew all of the time. When another kid doesn’t have a toy or someone else to play with, he takes responsibility for making that child feel better with a toy or his companionship. He is four. He doesn’t know the word empathy but he feels it.

As we mature and society beats us up, we lose track of that feeling. We aren’t aware of when our empathy is telling us to take action. Therefore, we have to learn how to access it. Because it is so hard for our post modern, technology filled society to genuinely reveal our empathy, organizations and campaigns must be extra witty and cunning to use our empathy to take action. Too many resources are spent doing this. We shouldn’t have to be tricked into acting and doing good because we feel someone else’s pain; that action should come naturally.

To thicken the wall between our actions and ability to naturally access our empathy, corporations advertise products to be intermingled with our emotions. That is f***ed up! When did heightened emotional stimulation become the new version of the bandwagon technique? My favorite current example is an American Eagle Outfitters commercial. We are told to cherish our imperfections. Be proud of our imperfection but also buy these clothes. I get it, there are imperfections in the clothes but that does not bring me security.

All the corporations do it. From Coke to Verizon, our positive emotions are being triggered and paired with certain products. Advertisers are so good at it that often, we don’t’ recognize it’s happening. We must be able to consciously say, “that is not really how I will feel with this product” along with, “this is causing me to be less empathetic.” I included a commercial I saw last summer in South Africa. It displays my point perfectly; a corporation that has nothing to do with the inspiration it’s igniting in the commercial.

We are entering the season when our empathy is the main tool for driving sales. As change agents, we must be strong and ask if the empathy and action being produced is authentic? Or, is it being stimulated by some corporation that desires you to leave your family on Thanksgiving to beat the Black Friday traffic? Please be mindful of what is being asked of you this month. We have individual power to take action. This agency can be combined with other people’s free will and real action will happen. We are all positive change agents and no one controls us or our empathy.

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